Taking a very deep breath

I have not been gifted with the gift of hospitality. My mother had it. My sister has it. I do not. If I had family in the area then it probably would have happened more frequently because of family birthdays and holidays. But I don’t. And I haven’t.

I am guessing that I can probably count on one hand the number of times we have invited another couple to a meal at our house, and maybe on two hands the number of times I have other women at the house for lunch.

However, I recognize the need to show hospitality, and I recognize the need to step out of my comfort zone. And I have made a New Years’ resolution to try to do this at least once a month.

So, I am just not very comfortable doing this. But I am doing it today.

Part of the problem is that I embarrassed for two reasons: (1) the way my house looks because of structural defects and (2) the way my house looks because I am a lousy (wondering now what the difference is between "lousy" as in "very bad" and "lousy" as in "covered with lice") housekeeper. I can’t do anything about the structural defects of my house that are embarrassing -- ceiling that sags in parts, chunks missing from the old, tired, and very worn-out linoleum, hideous paneling. But I can do something about being a lousy housekeeper. Over the weekend, I did manage to sweep down the draping cobwebs, and wipe up the thick layer of dust covering everything, and actually mop the floor and vacuum. I have spruced it up as best I can.

In about 40 minutes, a woman from church is coming for lunch. I can do this, I am telling myself. I can do this.

And 10 minutes ago, I let the cat in, who proceeded to throw up in about 5 different places in the kitchen and under the table.

Oy vey.

So, now the kitchen floor is even cleaner.