I have returned from the groomer with Molly, and she is stretched out on the couch next to me while I read. Her coarse fur has been shaved, and her warm body feels like velvet as I stroke her. The arch of her ribs is like a knobby fan under my hand, and which rises and falls as she breathes…
We noticed several days ago that something was wrong with her breathing. We took her to the vet yesterday, it looked to him on the x-ray that she had a tumor in her chest that had ruptured and her chest was filled with fluid and blood -- from one area he got pure blood when he tried to draw it off so he stopped. It didn’t look good, he said. He wanted to keep her overnight, but we decided to bring her home.
She was still very groggy from being tranquilized, and we had put her on the floor in her bed, but by the time I went to bed she had recovered enough to to hop up on the couch and stretch out in her spot.
This morning I sat down next to her on the couch, coffee in my right hand, Bible on my lap open to this morning’s reading, and my left hand stroking her fur. And again, her ribs felt like a knobby fan under my hand. Only this morning, there was no rise and fall, because she wasn’t breathing. She had died in the night.
And appropriately enough, this morning’s reading from the Old Testament was the first three chapters of Ecclesiastics
For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven…
A time to be born and a time to die….
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
6 comments:
I am so sorry for your loss. Mollywog is just as cute and sweet looking as her name. I know you are going to miss her. It made me cry to read your post. This is such a hard time to get through, but it will get easier with time. I will be thinking about you today.
Dear Leilani.
I'm so sorry. I remember when you got Mollywog.
Even though it is so hard, it was a blessing that she died peacefully on her own and you did not need to take her to the vet to put her down.
Remember the good times you had together.
My lab Shira is now 12 and to know that we don't have too much time left, makes every day very special.
Big hug to you from Germany
Elli
Elli: Yes it was a blessing. When we brought her home we were trying to figure out long to wait before we took her back. I am glad we did not have to make that decision. And I remember when you got Shira!! The woman who cuts my hair just returned from Yellowstone and she mentioned they were watching a small herd of elk on the hillside when they suddenly starting running and they saw a pack of 6 wolves chasing them. I immediately thought of you! She said it was very exciting.
Yes, Leilani.
My new book is about what I learned from the Yellowstone wolves. One chapter is about how wolves handle the death of their pack members. They mourn, they are confused, but some day they shake and life goes on and they love again. This is what life is all about.
I haven't been to Y. for a year. I miss it, but I want to be with Shira now. I'd like to be with her when she dies. The wolves will always be there. Until then my dog has priority. I treasure every minute with her.
I'm very sure that some day, when time is right, another dog will find you and snuggle into your heart.
I am so sorry, I know you loved her and she was your walking companion. I am thankful that she died on her own at home one can only hope that all good old dogs would go that way. :)
Thanks Far Side. Yes she was my walking companion ,and the temptation now is "not to walk," but it is vital that I keep on walking. I don't want to end up not being able to walk. There was a report today on NPR, "Get Off The Couch Baby Boomers, Or You May Not Be Able To Later." I saw this happen to my dad and I don't want it to happen to me.
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